I saw this on a pro depression lj so I tot I do it too... It look intresting and tons of other did it.....
*How long have you been cutting? Six years
And do you actually want to stop? i dont know...
Why/Why not? it feels like part of me now, it's like a release of pain... Like people going for walks or eat when they feel hurts I just cut... It makese feel better.. If i stop
I will just keep feeling pain int heart...
Do you cut lines or words? lines, never words.. Too depress to even think to words to cut...
Have you ever taken a pic of it? yes... For unknown reason I do... It just feel like I have to take it...
Do you have any rituals? Not sure.. I usually cuts, take tons of photo than, shower/sleep....
What do you like best about cutting? it feels good... Till
the cuts heal and stop bleeding...
Are you ashamed to be a cutter? In the past not really... Till recently my mum found out and starts giving me the digusted look when depression or cutting is mention.. And she always make me hide my cuts till it heal...
What do you use to cut? Penknife blades... Just the blades.. When
even grabbing the blades in my hand hurt me it makes me feel better...
Are you happy with what you use to cut? no, I want someting sharper! Something that can cut deep enough to not only leave a scar..
Have you been diagnosed with anything? severe depression, but still waiting to see the psych for long term diagnosis... My mum stop my session because she I insist I am lying... But it's ok! I don't want any unknown people to bother me anyway... They don even really care! They just gave warning and drugs!
Do you self diagnose? No.
Are you on medication? yes, but i dont take it anymore... What's the point!
Do you self medicate? No..Unless cutting counts... It makes me feel really good! Even better than the medication!
Ever been in a psych hospital? No...
What for/ how long? -
Have you tried to commit suicide? yes! Drug overdose.. Jumping off building(when I wad really really young.. Too stupid to work!) cutting veins.. Cutting neck...
Do you still have those thoughts? Of cause!
Have you ever needed stitches? No.. No matter how bad my cuts it I avioding hospital.. They just gave me all kind of injection...
Are you afraid that one time you might slice too deep? No... I want to die...
Has anyone ever stopped being your friend because they found out about your cutting? No.. I don't have much friend anyway.. Tons of digusted look though...
What happened with that? Nothing.. They just laugh an call me crazy... And see me as digusting...
What is your worst experience related to cutting? My mum wad called down to the hospital and I was nearly sent to the emergency room by an ambulance.... And people keep asking me why don I just stop... They never understand it's my brain... I can't just stop! This is a mental illness..
What has been your best experience related to cutting? a couple of people have being really supportive....
Would you ever do sadomasochistic stuff like getting your partner to cut you and vice versa? no i wouldnt ever touch anyone else! And i wouldn't let anyone cut me either!
Do you fantasize about hurting others in anyway? no
If yes, how? -
And would you like to really do it in real life? -
(Do you think you would?) -
Thought about killing someone? no
Do you dream of that? no
Could you do it? no
Tell us something we don't know about yourself: i wish i wasn't so scared... Wasn't so hurt.. That I someday can be free from pain... And I don't see anything wrong with cutting.. Not like I am dead yet... So it's not so bad...
Don't judge me base on my answer to those question!
No comments:
Post a Comment